When Meghan Trainor’s voice comes through on the other end of the phone, she sounds under the weather, fighting a nasty sickness on top of an otherwise stressful time. “It’s been a really rough two weeks for me,” she says, eager to set the record straight about recent headlines. Timed to the release of her seventh studio album, Toy With Me (out Friday via Epic Records), Trainor was about to embark on the nationwide Get In Girl Tour, named after the peppy, take-charge single from the album. But last week, she announced via Instagram Story that “after a lot of reflection and some really tough conversations” she was pulling the plug on the tour, which was initially set to kick off on June 12 in Michigan.
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“Balancing the release of a new album, preparing for a nationwide tour and welcoming our new baby girl to our growing family of five has just been more than I can take on right now,” she wrote at the time. “I promise I’ll be back soon.” As Trainor explains it, while on paper the tour seemed feasible, she’s been overwhelmed by its logistics with three young kids in tow. (In addition to Mikey, the newborn girl she and husband Daryl Sabara welcomed via surrogate in January, they also share Riley, 4, and Barry, 2.)
“I gotta pick my kids first and I gotta be the mom that they need right now,” she tells Billboard of the heart-wrenching decision. “Please let all the fans who are reading this know that I’m devastated. I’m so sorry. I wish I could do a video for each family member who got their daughter tickets to my show. I think that’s what hurts the most.”
The internet was quick to speculate about the reasons, an irony considering Toy With Me’s lead single “Still Don’t Care” focuses on the negative online chatter she’s grappled with over the years, including comments about her weight loss. While Trainor is baring her raw emotions on the album, it’s all through the lens of the doo-wop-infused sounds she’s become known for: tales of insecurity and empowerment with a pop twist.
Ahead of its release, the Grammy winner got candid with Billboard about the recent headlines, the effect her three kids have had on her career and the cathartic evolution of her music, including album-closer “Shimmer.” “I want everyone to sing as an affirmation,” she says. “Like ‘I am a badass and I don’t care about what anyone thinks.’”
Let’s set the record straight, because there’s a lot of online chatter right now about the tour. So in your own words, what happened?
I’m devastated. I’m really sad. My second kid just started preschool and we all keep on getting sick, and I was really overwhelmed with wrapping up the album and the music videos. Then the idea of the tour took over and it was really scary as I was looking at my children and how sick they were and how young they are. I also have a three-month-old, and I realized I was already spending too much time working and not with them. So I talked to my husband and my team a lot and we realized tour would be so difficult on these three kids at this age. And for me it’d be so difficult, as I wouldn’t even be with them that much. I had to take a big overall look of, ‘Do I choose my career or do I choose being a mom right now?’ As dramatic as that sounds, that’s where we were at last week. But it’s horrible. I’m really sad and I don’t know what the right decision is, but I know that my kids come first, so I have to be with them at this time and bond with my three-month-old before she is too old and I lose this time.
Are you looking at everything in a completely different way now that you’re a mom of three?
(I have to remind myself) my job will always be there. I’m a workaholic, so I will work forever and I’ll never give up on my dreams, but I realized my biggest dream above a career is my family. I needed help recently to see that because I was drowning. I couldn’t do it all and I thought I was doing it all. But my family helped me. My husband helped me and was like, “Listen, I know how important this album is to you, and this tour is to you, and I know you’ve like worked your ass off for it, but take a step back and let’s look up and realize that we have these three young, beautiful kids that need our help.” Then the very same week of deciding that, both my kids had pink eye and the baby was being tough to nap and eat. It was two weeks of chaos, and a sign from somebody saying, “This might be too much on your plate.” And I’m like, “Yeah, you’re right.”
I just know what’s the safest and best thing for my family. And it wasn’t to tour for three months straight in the heat of summer with a new baby and two young children. I was about to get a second bus for the kids to go early so they wouldn’t have to live on a bus all day long. There were a lot of pros and a lot of cons, but there were just too many cons.
It was reported you sold your house around the same time as the tour cancelation. People were also wondering if those were connected.
No, I’ve been trying to sell that house for two years. That was a fun one, seeing that online. I actually haven’t even been on my phone; I’ve taken a social media break, so I had a friend send me that from sweet old TMZ. That didn’t feel nice and I can’t imagine what everyone’s saying online right now, but I don’t look at comments and I don’t care anymore.
I know that just so happens to be the subject of your lead single, “Still Don’t Care.” You sing lyrics like, “Said I was too thick, then I got way too thin / And I try to stand out, but I wanna fit in.” Is it cathartic to sing and write a song like that?
Yeah, definitely. During the writing process, I knew my baby girl was coming through a surrogacy. At the same time, I was getting the most hate I’ve ever got specifically on my body. And I was just thinking about how hard this world is, especially for a girl, I was just so worried about her. So I wanted to write an anthem for us to sing one day if she ever feels like I feel. It was really hard. It was really hard. I think nowadays just with social media everyone’s really mean and loud, and it seems like the meanest comment wins these days. I think we’re living in a very hateful time and it’s really sad.
So that’s why I don’t look at comments anymore. It really affects my mental health and I can’t let what strangers say affect my mental health. I have to be the best parent I can. It’s sad, but that was my answer to everyone and their opinions about me. I’m all set, I’m good.
Your album presents these emotional topics, but with such cheer. What’s the thinking behind that?
I always like to write happy songs. I don’t write a lot of sad slow songs for my projects at least, especially like “Shimmer.” For the follow up after “Still Don’t Care,” “Get In Girl” is what I wanted to write about how, “Now we’re a badass, we’re confident and we’re gonna start loving ourselves today.” That’s another sad topic, but I made it sound positive, like, “Let’s get over that guy who broke you to pieces.”
The new album is called Toy With Me. What inspired that title?
Well, all my albums start with “T” for Trainor to represent family first. So I kind of trapped myself there. And then I had these kids and we play with toys all day long and I was like, “I want my music to take me back to childhood when everything was easier and better and lighter.” When I want people to pick up the album and look at it and say, “All is well. I’m a child again. I’m safe. I’m OK. I can dance and be happy here. I can safely cry here.” This was around the time when I was getting a lot of heat online and it was like, ‘OK, toy with me, mess with me. That’s fine. I can handle it.”
Your discography to date is a chronicle of your personal evolution, right up to Toy With Me’s “Little One,” which is dedicated to your kids. Can you talk about the meaning behind it?
I knew I wanted to write a song for my kids and I wrote a few. There’s another song called “Angels” on there, that’s for them. They make me believe in angels. “Little One” is my only slower song and it’s all my fears for my kids. Everything I’ve been going through, I just hope that they never have to deal. Being my kid is a different experience. When we go to Disney World or something, everyone’s asking their parents for pictures and it hasn’t freaked ’em out yet, but I have to prep them in the car: “Here’s what happens if a stranger comes up to mommy and asks for a picture.” It’s just weird, and I wanna protect them with my whole life. I wish I can keep ’em in a bubble and never let anything happen to them, but that was my song for them: my time capsule moment. I always look at my five-year-old and think, “Stop growing, stop doing that!” And he goes, “I have to.” So I had to put them in the album, and every time I play it, they love it so much: they freeze and then they go, “That’s our song.” So it’s magic.
Speaking of dedications, the video for “Still Don’t Care” is a love letter to L.A. where you sing and dance through the city and include a bunch of actual people. Why was that important for you to shine a light on the city?
I love L.A. I’ve been here for over 10 years now and I’m not planning on living anywhere. But for me, I guess it was also exposure therapy. I am really shy and I am nervous and anxious to perform in front of people a lot. So we all came up with this idea and thought let me just make an ass and myself and dress like the most pop star princess you could ever imagine and just go in actual public and let’s get people’s raw reactions. And everyone thought that was funny and clever and different. The day we shot it, we were just like breaking all the rules, but luckily we never got kicked out of anywhere. It was really exciting and terrifying. I’ve never broken the rules, ever. I’ve never been a bad girl, so that was fun. When we shot at The Grove, I was embarrassed, but eventually it was freeing. A crowd of people was following me, and I didn’t even know anyone was behind me. When I looked back and freaked out: like, oh my God, they’re into it. It was liberating and I’m so proud of that video, even though it was so hard to make.
Let’s end at the beginning of your career. What do you remember about your first time in L.A.? Was it when “All About That Bass” became a hit, eventually going No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100?
I used to come here as a songwriter for a week or two at a time at like 18 or 19; I would be in hotels and write songs every day. Just in the studio, grinding and working. But when “All About That Bass” came out, I came out to do a music video for it and I thought that was the coolest thing ever. My mom came with me; I didn’t even have management at the time and it was the craziest experience of my whole life. I never had someone do my makeup or do my hair. All of a sudden I had pink stripes in my hair and I was so glammed up. I remember the dance rehearsals and me and my mom were watching them build the sets. We were like, “I cannot believe all these people are working for this one little song.” And then, at the end of the day, me and my mom started sobbing; we were just so happy. And I called my dad crying. “I was a pop star, dad!”
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